Confrontation.

One thing that we learn in Psychology is that as humans we desire homeostasis. That balanced state is achieved in large part physiologically--the body is wondrous. We do have battles in our minds as well, however. We like to be in that "comfort zone" psychologically and spiritually as well. But once in a while--for some more often than not--we are faced with THE motivator that disrupts that sense of stability.

I speak of mortality.

Once in a while we come face to face with the prospect--no the certainty--that life is not in our hands. People deal with this reality in many different ways. Some turn to religion for a short time only to resume fulfillment of personal desires once the crisis has passed and things seem back to "normal." Others maintain their commitment. I, unfortunately, fall in the former category... Still others I'm afraid disregard death as anything to be concerned about and continue to live out the desires of the flesh.

When I think about Death, the biggest worry that I have--worry is probably not a strong enough term--is the fate of my family. I have a beautiful wife and a son that brings us joy that cannot be described. I tremble at the thought of leaving them alone; at the thought that I will not be here to provide for and Love them with all that I am.

But who am I? Who am I to believe or think for one second that I deserve another day of life on this Earth? I am but a sinner. I am but a man. Sometimes I make pretensions of moral striving, but in reality my own desires and thoughts rule the day. I am weak. I have little self control. And I look and think about the lives of so many others across this world and throughout history, and see that life is not guaranteed for even one more minute.

Therefore, Lord, let me learn from You. Let me serve You. Let me glorify You. Let me trust in your Glory and Love and Promise. May I rest in the fact that regardless of any outcome that I am safe within your hands and beyond that the ones I love are also found in your Embrace. Let me not forget these desires for You, when my confrontation with the thought of my own mortality has passed. Let me persevere.

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