Shattered.

I watched the BBC last night to see the updates of the current Middle East tragedy as well as the escalating violence in Iraq. (This was after I watched the Antietam episode from Ken Burns' Civil War documentary)

I got the same feeling watching the news last night that I got when I was on the battlefield in Sharpsburg a few weeks ago. It was a sinking feeling... deep in my gut. I saw the kids that were being separated from their mother as the transports left with refugees from Lebanon. The thing is that the kids don't really know... they just know they aren't with their mother. They don't understand the death. They don't understand the destruction. They don't understand the torment.

But that's what war brings: always. You want absolute truth? War is terrible!

I'm really conflicted. I went to New York two months after it was attacked. I saw the terrible destruction. I saw the makeshift memorials with the letters to Daddies and Mommies that would never return. I wept.

I don't want that same feeling for other peoples. I want to pray for my enemies as my Lord instructs. But how does it play out when other peoples want conflict? Hezbollah and Israel... who is guilty? What about Iraq? The intent is to bring hope to those people. Now what? Ethnic cleansing? Maybe the idea of democracy in that region simply is untenable. I pray that we will look back at these days as the low points of the war. Maybe we will have our Gettysburg soon. The turning point in the world where the forces of victory will emerge.

I'm afraid we're merely at the beginning though.